Playing a small chance with a big hope

Recently, I have found myself in an unusually strong streak of weltschmerz.

This is most strange - since it began with the realization that there truly are women out there that I could imagine spending a lifetime with.

My experience has told me they are rare - very rare. Empirical evidence (own research) suggests that around 1% of the women I date has the potential to become life partners (and that assumes that the timing is right too). I am also realizing that there is no way to tell in advance if you have stumbled on that rare candidate - you just got to give her a chance.

So what is one to do? Play the numbers? I believe that destiny is taken, not given. And that makes dating a numbers game to me. Meeting women (and life partner) requires initiative -I am no rock star.

And herein lies the pain. I grow weary of meeting new people. I am tired of investing time, happiness (I try to remain positive in a conversation), bad sex (yes, women can be bad in bed) and my hope in others.

And this is why I feel weltschmerz. I am wise enough to realize that there is only this path. I must find the energy and play the numbers game.

In a later post : useful delusions?