Less space, more comfort please

I am sitting in the final airport after 14 days on the road. Next destination: Home! Being a frequent traveler, I tend to get upgrades on the hotels that I stay in – yep, I am a member of half a dozen bonus programs. And this leads me to the subject of today’s blog: hotel rooms.

I have stayed in 6 hotels in 5 countries the last two weeks. Three times I have been upgraded. Every time I walk into the “president suite” or “luxury business room” – I get disappointed.  I really don’t  appreciate a room that is about three times larger than my apartment and will hold 5-6 London sized hotel rooms (where as they say in London, you cannot swing a cat).

What then is it, that makes me complain about this obvious luxury life of mine – am I turning into a grumpy old man? No, I just want simpler things in life. I want a good bed, a desk and a bathtub  - that will be all thanks. 20m2 will easily accommodate my needs. If the place is clean too and does not look like a German whorehouse – all the much better. Seriously, I have no use for a sofa arrangement for 5 people or a 8 person dining table (which I may add, comes without a kitchen). I just want to sleep, perhaps have sex with a another hotel visitor and take a shower. Can we just forget the Ikean decorations, the four French doors, the bar area and living room I will never use?

Instead, could I have a complimentary massage? That would be nice for a change. Or how about not charging me 3 EUR for that Mars Chocolate in the snack basket? What about free use of the mini bar or a bottle or wine. Now that we are at it, a nice looking house maid to press my shirts and polish my shoes would really increase my checkmarks on guest satisfaction survey. Taking into account the space taken up by those presidential suites and the amount of rentable space that would fit in them – I think it would be cheaper to serve my needs of comfort for free and forget about that space upgrade.

But today, Hotels just seem incapable of offering a service that does not have a price tag associated with it. Except for extra space of course – which the frequent traveler really does not need!